25. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

I am not really happy about, however some thing needs to be done. Not only for our Country but for the rest of the world. Since everyone seems to follow our lead. What I do find odd is that everyone things that all our loans are threw China, which is not the case, yes we owe China about 20% of the money we owe. Which is still 1/5 but it’s a lot less then what some folks claim.

Last thought, do you have older relatives who are living on their stocks and bonds? If so you may wish to rethink how you feel about the bailout.
Those folks will be hit the hardest without the bailout

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22. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

To me it appears the we have all become mice, since few really want to address the real issues of life. Most people think things just happen, while to a degree that is true. However raising children does not just happen, it takes considered parents who are willing to go the distance.The schools are not supposed to teach your children about life, nor is the T.V. a babysitter!

Next in line is the politicians, they expect to get away with almost anything. Why?? because “We the People” have allowed this to happen.

Then we have marriage, what part don’t people understand to death do us part? I admit I am divorced and just like I think that I have my reasons, so do a lot of people. Mine was She got pregnant  (not by herself mind ya, I did have something to do with it) so I did the old Catholic guilt way and we got married. That should not have made me exempt to my vow. Granted if your married to a sicko witch from hell or your married to an arsehole, who abuses you, by all means get the divorce.

Driving is next up, The Police Officer who pulled you over, is not doing it because he/she has nothing better to do! You broke the law, so sit in your seat with the your hands on the wheel, and try to say yes sir. If you get pulled over for drinking and driving in this day and age, you should have to pay the piper for it. Sorry too many incidents happen that the drunk driver lives but kills a family. I call them incidents because they were not an accident. The drunk got behind the wheel knowing he/she was about to break the law, yet told themselves they were alright to drive. Do I have a DUI? Sure I do I was a drunk. But for the Grace of God I could have killed a family. Yes I paid the piper, still am paying since they made a mistake after I got off probation, however since I like the privilege of driving, I am paying the piper again. They know it is a mistake just like I do, but there is no way to get it off the computer.

If your wife or husband(Bf or Gf) are bitching at you to spend some time together, then do it. Selfish is not something that goes well in a relationship.Trust me been there done that.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

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18. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

Cnet has put together a great package with their Windows starter kit. Best part about it is it’s free.
You can read all about the different programs on their site http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080917/D938OKA80.html
These programs are easy to install and other then gimp (photo shop type program) very simple to use. For those who do not wish to run cracked software on their system this is an ideal kit for your basic programs. It comes with Web Browser, an E-mail Client, Office and Productivity tools, Image Editors, Music and Video Jukeboxes, File Compression, a PDF Reader, Chatware, a Torrent Client, and seven must-have Utilities. One thing that I would add is the PC decrapifier you can download that here
http://www.pcdecrapifier.com/   this is a must have for new computers, it does just what it sounds like it does, removes all the crap that comes preloaded.

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17. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

This is not in any order of best or worst, just posted the ones I could remember first

1. Is Clonespy, it finds duplicate files on your system http://www.clonespy.de/?Home

2. One software that you should not go without is Process quick link. Gives you detailed information on what process you are running.

http://www.processlibrary.com/quicklink/

3. Cooliris is a fun application, it is a free plugin that changes the way you can look at websites, turning them into a rich media site. No worries if your site does not have media,

You can surf by using just the viewer mode. http://cooliris.com/site/firefox/

4.PC Decrapifer  this program is a must for those who have just gotten a new computer. Gets rid of all the preloaded crap that came with your computer.

http://www.pcdecrapifier.com/download

5. Visions gives you a new way to look at your photos in an enhanced 3d world. Neat program, also allows you to edit pictures.

http://www.freedownloadscenter.com/Reviews/r4705.html

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11. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

Some great education sites for kids, they can learn and have some fun. 

The first one should come as no surprise to anyone Nickelodeons,

Nick http://www.nick.com/index.jhtml

The next is Fun Brain this has a ton of games that teach kids basic skills age group is k-8.

http://www.funbrain.com/

The third site is Ed Helper has the learning games as well as gives you the ability to create your own puzzles

http://edhelper.com/

Another Great site, that I found threw who else
but the folks over at lifehacker. Tons for freeware programs for
children. Most are learning tools.

http://www.kidsdomain.com/down/pc/_subjectfreeware-index.html

If your looking for a search engine for your kids that’s safe try kids quintura (another find by lifehacker)

http://kids.quintura.com/

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7. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

I was out with the fellows at one of our local bars. We were
drinking and looking for women. This was
to be our first stop for the night, so It was not like any of us had even a
buzz going. We took our stools at the
bar, and started to drink. Not sure what really happened with this one prick,
but his ex-girlfriend was the bartender and he was giving her some shit. So far
no big deal, since he was on one side and she was behind the bar, however it
was plain to see that she was done with this asshole. My Friends and I tend to stay out of peoples business
unless things turn ugly or they start to interfere with our fun.

After a while this asshole must have started to bother one
of my friends, He got up and asked the guy to chill, my friend is a pretty big
guy, and the other guy did seem to chill.
At this point, I figured all was well, and went out to my truck, to get
my smokes. Yes I smoked when I drank. First stop at the bathroom. Since it was
on my way out.

Now why I was waiting my turn to take leak things must have
gotten really ugly, please keep in mind I had no idea what was going on, and
only found out after the fact, after taking my leak I went out and got my
smokes.

What happened why I was in the bathroom was the asshole
ex-boyfriend of the bartender hit her, and my friends hit him a few times. With
the guys I was with that night, getting hit by any of them once hurts, more
than once is really painful, not to mention we have always held the rule if one
fights we all fight, no matter the odds, if it’s just one guy and he is dumb
enough to start shit with us, we all go at him.
Not fair you say? There is no such thing as a fair fight, and our object
was to get it over with as soon as possible. Since we seldom if ever went out looking
for trouble, our goals for going out were to have fun, and meet the ladies. Fighting does not help you meet the ladies nor
is it fun. This “fight” was over before
I left the bathroom. So as I walked out to my truck, I still had no clue. Grab
my sigs out of my truck and start to walk back to the bar across the parking lot.
As I am walking I hear a engine revving really high, naturally I looked up and
saw a SUV coming at me at high speed, I
did the only thing I could think of, I jumped up as the SUV hit me, next thing I know I wake up in the hospital,
head shaved and staples in the back of my head.

Turns out the guy was driving on a suspended Maryland license
with out of state tags that were also suspended, and no insurance. What’s bothers me now about this is I cannot
for the life of me figure out what happened to this guy. Since this memory
bubble popped though the other day I was only able to get a hold of one of my
buddies that was there that night, and he filled me in on what I did not
remember, but he could not remember what happened to the guy. I cannot even remember what the cops asked me
that night while I was at the hospital.
One funny thing that does stick out was there was a lawyer there, and he
was all set to represent me, until the cops came and told us about the guy’s license,
plates and lack of insurance. The lawyer backed off at that point. I cannot
even recall if I even went after the guy for damages to my head.

What brought this memory bubble up was I was looking at a
picture of my kids and I, at my sister’s wedding and could not figure out why
my hair was cut so short. Then the SUV came to me.

Just a typical night out with the boys for this drunk.

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3. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

I was talking to a friend of mine, and We were talking about my memory, or lack of it. I was explaining memory bubbles as they were explained to me. She then threw a curve ball at me, what if they were false memory’s or false positives as She put it.

Now most of the things I do remember, I have asked others if they were true. However not all of them. Which brings to the question, will my memory’s every really be mine? Or will I be lost without a past? Since the past is what makes who we are today, what does that make me? Not sure. To be really honest not sure that I really want to find out.

These last 5 years of living sober, I had thought I was making progress when it came to my mind. Now I am not so sure.

I may not have shared this with anyone yet but I see a shrink, not because I think I am crazy, that’s a given. I see her to try to bring out more memories. Up until they other night I had thought this was working. Now I am starting to question that, since what if the false positives are things that I had thought that I had done good? I lived a rough life drinking, and I do understand that I have to pay the piper for my deeds. However why is it the mind can really screw you? So many questions, with no answers. I do not apologize for the way I lived my life, I have made amends to those that I hurt, or at the least those I could find.

So does this mean since I don’t have the answers that it’s alright to go out and start drinking? No, however it does lead me to believe there is so much more of the mind that needs to be looked at. I never claimed to be a rock and roll star, nor do I think I will every go in the books as a saint, however I would like to know who the hell I am. Is that to much to ask?

Maybe it is, maybe I should just be happy to be alive and have my family and few friends? One thing I dislike is questions without answers.

God has been good to me since I stopped drinking, and even before He kept me alive. I never want for anything that I need.

Can not recall the last time I was sober and went to bed hungry. Not in 5 years have I had to eat out of a trash can, or sleep in a park, or in the woods. So am I asking to many questions? or should I just be grateful for what I have? I thank the Lord every morning and every night, so I am grateful.

Will have to explore this some more.

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