19. November 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

You’d be alarmed to know how many people have actually been through alcohol treatment centers all around the country. It sort of makes you wonder how many Americans have issues to deal with and turn to liquor. Well, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Living in an alcohol treatment facility takes some patience and understanding yourself. You must realize that you are here for help; you cannot have everything you need. The attendants will likely dote on you, but that is as far as they will go. You are there for help, and that is just what you will get from them.

A lot of guys in rehab have physical dependence on alcohol. This occurs when they are so uncomfortable without the substance that they could get physical with you when you get in their way. Sometimes they hurt those who are around them; they never mean it that way, but still they do it, and they should not be encouraged.

Most alcohol treatment centers insist that you sever all ties with the outside world while you are in. they argue that any distraction might hamper your healing process. Makes you sort of wonder if you would not have been better of in prison; at least those guys get to move around and watch TV. Well, you’re dead wrong.

The treatment of alcoholism is a legitimate part of medical practice. Several medical practitioners include it in their retinue of professional services. Some even seek out rehabilitation centers to do their thing more freely, and with more patients to wit.

Once you have been through alcohol treatment, you are strongly forbidden from ever again touching the stuff. The simple argument is that you’d never be able to control it. Some people debunk this theory by actually doing it, but many others fail and catapult back to alcohol treatment.

Being drunk is worse than being crazy. Even though it lasts for much less time, the destruction you wrought when under the influence often lasts a lifetime. And when it becomes a habit, you will certainly have trouble curing it on you own. The solution is in three words: alcohol treatment center

Many people view rehab as a nasty place to be, considering the stigma of lives spiraling out of control that are constantly in there. This view however, couldn’t be more wrong. More focus instead should be placed on the condition of the patients when the come out of the facility, not when they go in. Then they would see that rehab really is a blessing.

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About the Author:
It doesn’t matter how much you feel you know regarding Alcohol Treatment Centers information like information about Addwords Alcohol Treatment Center , or Alcohol Treatment Center For Uninsured In Texas , read this wonderful site and be amazed at truly insightful information –> http://www.alcoholtreatmentcentersnews.com

While I do agree Treatment Centers are great, they are not the end all or fix all. A person who has an addiction to drugs or alcohol needs more work once they are sent home. Since your stay is limited in the Treatment Centers, and since the goal there is to get detoxed and to learn about the addiction, your not taught how to live. Which is important part of staying sober. Most drunks I know are bullshit artists, thieves and selfish, you can’t kick those habbits through a treatment center. AA, NA, CDA, etc..  is the  way that most Centers recommend,since by doing the 12 step, you will be freeing yourself of the 7 deadly sins.

Patrick Budowski

5 years sober by the Grace of God!

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18. November 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

When you have a job surrounded by co-workers, an answer is always just the next cubicle away. When you work from home with a home based business online, you don’t always know where to turn to for answers.

If you work from home with a home based business online it can mean countless hours staring at a computer screen by yourself.

Have you spent all day trying to figure out how to get your website looking right? Have you taken hours trying to put the right code in your index page only to discover you don’t even know what an index page is? Having a hard time trying to figure out how to get traffic to your site? Sound familiar?

So who do your turn to when it is just you and your computer? Your computer?

Well, actually, yes!

Just go to your web browser and search for online forums. You’ll find that the internet is full of online forums. Forums are communities of people who have something in common online with various degrees of knowledge and expertise. Members post “threads” which are comments or questions, and other members are able to post responses. It’s like a running conversation that can stretch over hours, days, weeks, even years.

A great benefit is that forum posts have lasting power….meaning that once posted, they remain for all to see for years to come.

Probably the best known forum for internet marketing is the Warrior Forum. Another good place to start is IM4Newbies.

If you have a question and need help in your quest to work from home with a home based business online, turn to a forum. More than likely you can find your answer there.

So why would anyone want to help you, potential competition? There are actually people in this world who have a genuine interest in helping and sharing their knowledge.

There are other benefits for posting in forums as well. While forums don’t allow you to self-promote in the actual post itself, they do allow you to have a signature line where you can link to your website or other product you are promoting. By making several valuable posts you gain credibility within the community and people may just decide to click your link and see what you are all about.

Since posts can stay on the site for several years, it is like having a permanent billboard. Your site also gains valuable links back to it with each post. Search engines love “backlinks”, so it can help your rankings as well. Just don’t post two word answers like “I agree” 1000 times. That will get you blacklisted pretty quick.

Read what others have to say, gain insight, participate and make some useful contributions of your own. Just because you work from home with a homebased business online doesn’t mean you have to go it alone.

Success breeds success, hang out with the successful people!

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About the Author:
Jeff Roh has an online business and writes for those who work from home with a homebased business online, or are thinking about it. Visit: http://www.Secrets-Success.com for more helpful resources and tips.

Re posted  by Patrick Budowski with permission, from Author

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10. November 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

I have no written about booze in a while, the other day I went to downtown Annapolis and took a few pictures of the bar doors or names of the bars that I had closed down during my drinking days. While I can’t really remember much of it, I did remember stopping at the Chick and Ruth’s deli on our way out of downtown. Not sure if the food was good, I would like to think it is, since it’s been around for a long time.

For the second time I was thrilled at all there is too see in Annapolis, Since most of my time spent down there was drinking. The State Capitol building is nice and being remodeled. When that’s done it will look great. Then we have the Naval Academy, which is a great big chunk of Annapolis. Anyone who grew up in Anne Arundel County new all about the MID’s. From what I remember there were some friends of mine that had the MID’s stay with them. Not sure what it was called, but when they had a free weekend they could go to their sponsors house. (I use sponsor because I don’t know the accurate name) We would see them on Crofton Parkway as we drove around, or catch a glimpse of them entering or leaving someones house. Annapolis also has it’s on Navy Base which some people in Annapolis don’t have a clue about. While I have only been their once, and it was small for a Navy Base. It’s neat that we have that here.

My reason for writing this, is back when I was drinking I never would have taken the time out to see these places, nor would I just sit and watch people as they walked around downtown. Back then for me I would have been in a bar drinking by noon, at the latest. Since some of the Bars opened at 11 am, you would find me there.

Now this has not given me much in the way of memory’s from my past it does make me feel good that I can sit at a bar and not drink. Some days it feels like I really missed 20 years or so of memory’s other days I am sure that I don’t remember much because it’s better that way.

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25. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

I am not really happy about, however some thing needs to be done. Not only for our Country but for the rest of the world. Since everyone seems to follow our lead. What I do find odd is that everyone things that all our loans are threw China, which is not the case, yes we owe China about 20% of the money we owe. Which is still 1/5 but it’s a lot less then what some folks claim.

Last thought, do you have older relatives who are living on their stocks and bonds? If so you may wish to rethink how you feel about the bailout.
Those folks will be hit the hardest without the bailout

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22. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

To me it appears the we have all become mice, since few really want to address the real issues of life. Most people think things just happen, while to a degree that is true. However raising children does not just happen, it takes considered parents who are willing to go the distance.The schools are not supposed to teach your children about life, nor is the T.V. a babysitter!

Next in line is the politicians, they expect to get away with almost anything. Why?? because “We the People” have allowed this to happen.

Then we have marriage, what part don’t people understand to death do us part? I admit I am divorced and just like I think that I have my reasons, so do a lot of people. Mine was She got pregnant  (not by herself mind ya, I did have something to do with it) so I did the old Catholic guilt way and we got married. That should not have made me exempt to my vow. Granted if your married to a sicko witch from hell or your married to an arsehole, who abuses you, by all means get the divorce.

Driving is next up, The Police Officer who pulled you over, is not doing it because he/she has nothing better to do! You broke the law, so sit in your seat with the your hands on the wheel, and try to say yes sir. If you get pulled over for drinking and driving in this day and age, you should have to pay the piper for it. Sorry too many incidents happen that the drunk driver lives but kills a family. I call them incidents because they were not an accident. The drunk got behind the wheel knowing he/she was about to break the law, yet told themselves they were alright to drive. Do I have a DUI? Sure I do I was a drunk. But for the Grace of God I could have killed a family. Yes I paid the piper, still am paying since they made a mistake after I got off probation, however since I like the privilege of driving, I am paying the piper again. They know it is a mistake just like I do, but there is no way to get it off the computer.

If your wife or husband(Bf or Gf) are bitching at you to spend some time together, then do it. Selfish is not something that goes well in a relationship.Trust me been there done that.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

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11. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

Some great education sites for kids, they can learn and have some fun. 

The first one should come as no surprise to anyone Nickelodeons,

Nick http://www.nick.com/index.jhtml

The next is Fun Brain this has a ton of games that teach kids basic skills age group is k-8.

http://www.funbrain.com/

The third site is Ed Helper has the learning games as well as gives you the ability to create your own puzzles

http://edhelper.com/

Another Great site, that I found threw who else
but the folks over at lifehacker. Tons for freeware programs for
children. Most are learning tools.

http://www.kidsdomain.com/down/pc/_subjectfreeware-index.html

If your looking for a search engine for your kids that’s safe try kids quintura (another find by lifehacker)

http://kids.quintura.com/

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7. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

I was out with the fellows at one of our local bars. We were
drinking and looking for women. This was
to be our first stop for the night, so It was not like any of us had even a
buzz going. We took our stools at the
bar, and started to drink. Not sure what really happened with this one prick,
but his ex-girlfriend was the bartender and he was giving her some shit. So far
no big deal, since he was on one side and she was behind the bar, however it
was plain to see that she was done with this asshole. My Friends and I tend to stay out of peoples business
unless things turn ugly or they start to interfere with our fun.

After a while this asshole must have started to bother one
of my friends, He got up and asked the guy to chill, my friend is a pretty big
guy, and the other guy did seem to chill.
At this point, I figured all was well, and went out to my truck, to get
my smokes. Yes I smoked when I drank. First stop at the bathroom. Since it was
on my way out.

Now why I was waiting my turn to take leak things must have
gotten really ugly, please keep in mind I had no idea what was going on, and
only found out after the fact, after taking my leak I went out and got my
smokes.

What happened why I was in the bathroom was the asshole
ex-boyfriend of the bartender hit her, and my friends hit him a few times. With
the guys I was with that night, getting hit by any of them once hurts, more
than once is really painful, not to mention we have always held the rule if one
fights we all fight, no matter the odds, if it’s just one guy and he is dumb
enough to start shit with us, we all go at him.
Not fair you say? There is no such thing as a fair fight, and our object
was to get it over with as soon as possible. Since we seldom if ever went out looking
for trouble, our goals for going out were to have fun, and meet the ladies. Fighting does not help you meet the ladies nor
is it fun. This “fight” was over before
I left the bathroom. So as I walked out to my truck, I still had no clue. Grab
my sigs out of my truck and start to walk back to the bar across the parking lot.
As I am walking I hear a engine revving really high, naturally I looked up and
saw a SUV coming at me at high speed, I
did the only thing I could think of, I jumped up as the SUV hit me, next thing I know I wake up in the hospital,
head shaved and staples in the back of my head.

Turns out the guy was driving on a suspended Maryland license
with out of state tags that were also suspended, and no insurance. What’s bothers me now about this is I cannot
for the life of me figure out what happened to this guy. Since this memory
bubble popped though the other day I was only able to get a hold of one of my
buddies that was there that night, and he filled me in on what I did not
remember, but he could not remember what happened to the guy. I cannot even remember what the cops asked me
that night while I was at the hospital.
One funny thing that does stick out was there was a lawyer there, and he
was all set to represent me, until the cops came and told us about the guy’s license,
plates and lack of insurance. The lawyer backed off at that point. I cannot
even recall if I even went after the guy for damages to my head.

What brought this memory bubble up was I was looking at a
picture of my kids and I, at my sister’s wedding and could not figure out why
my hair was cut so short. Then the SUV came to me.

Just a typical night out with the boys for this drunk.

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3. September 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

I was talking to a friend of mine, and We were talking about my memory, or lack of it. I was explaining memory bubbles as they were explained to me. She then threw a curve ball at me, what if they were false memory’s or false positives as She put it.

Now most of the things I do remember, I have asked others if they were true. However not all of them. Which brings to the question, will my memory’s every really be mine? Or will I be lost without a past? Since the past is what makes who we are today, what does that make me? Not sure. To be really honest not sure that I really want to find out.

These last 5 years of living sober, I had thought I was making progress when it came to my mind. Now I am not so sure.

I may not have shared this with anyone yet but I see a shrink, not because I think I am crazy, that’s a given. I see her to try to bring out more memories. Up until they other night I had thought this was working. Now I am starting to question that, since what if the false positives are things that I had thought that I had done good? I lived a rough life drinking, and I do understand that I have to pay the piper for my deeds. However why is it the mind can really screw you? So many questions, with no answers. I do not apologize for the way I lived my life, I have made amends to those that I hurt, or at the least those I could find.

So does this mean since I don’t have the answers that it’s alright to go out and start drinking? No, however it does lead me to believe there is so much more of the mind that needs to be looked at. I never claimed to be a rock and roll star, nor do I think I will every go in the books as a saint, however I would like to know who the hell I am. Is that to much to ask?

Maybe it is, maybe I should just be happy to be alive and have my family and few friends? One thing I dislike is questions without answers.

God has been good to me since I stopped drinking, and even before He kept me alive. I never want for anything that I need.

Can not recall the last time I was sober and went to bed hungry. Not in 5 years have I had to eat out of a trash can, or sleep in a park, or in the woods. So am I asking to many questions? or should I just be grateful for what I have? I thank the Lord every morning and every night, so I am grateful.

Will have to explore this some more.

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30. August 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

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30. August 2008 by Patrick Budowski.

What happens and what do you do when you come to, after years of
drinking or drugging? To start I was not even sure I could stop, I had
drank for so long, and so hard that I knew nothing else. The friends
that I had made over the years were not really friends, more like folks
to party with, as they grew up and started to live a normal life, I
continued to stay drunk, and by doing so, I tended to stay away from
those folks. After awhile they would not want anything to do with a
knee crawling drunk like me. The folks that I cared about were for the
most part gone, or I had hurt them so much that they no longer could
afford the mental pain that dealing with me caused. Now this did not
all run through my mind when I first came to, Not even close, I was
tired, sick and living in my car, normal behavior for a adult? Not
hardly, but for a drunk, not to bad, at least I had a car. My first
thought that I recall, was I could no longer live like this, I needed
to stop drinking or just die. Now I had been to 10 rehabs for my
drinking, or what I thought of as pit stops. A place to hide, spend
some time getting my body back into drinking shape.

Having been through so many rehabs, and having had major problems
coming off the alcohol I knew that I need to check in someplace for
withdraws. However being homeless I had no place to go after I got the
booze out of my system. Well you might be thinking what about your
family? Nope been there and had done that to the point the only person
who was even talking to me was my Father. No one else had any faith in
me. Not that they had a reason to. However back then I did blame others
for my faults. Now my Dad was a Prince and a Saint all in one. I got
myself into a rehab, and instead of just dealing with the day to day of
getting clean and working on me, I of course started worrying about
were I was to live when I got out. Now keep in mind, when I was
drinking I could have cared less about were I spent my nights, but now
that I was getting sober, that seemed real important to me. When the
only thing that should have been important, was working on keeping my
self clean and sober. Being the good drunk still, I was more worried
about my image. Of course the only image I had was one that I lied to
myself about.

How in Gods name can a person who was living in his car be worried
about his image, after only a few days of being in a bed with sheets
and a roof over his head? No idea and I still laugh about that today,
but I was. The good news for me, was that there were folks who had been
down this path before, and were able to steer me in the right
directions, without me knowing it. Because of course being a drunk no
one can tell me what to do.

Folks who have never been insane, and yes that’s what I was, and to
a degree more then likely still am, can not understand what goes threw
the mind of one of us. We tend to think we know all, and have all the
answers. Now with this frame of mind, it’s a miracle that any of us
mange to get sober, and yes it is a miracle. Now I would love to tell
you that I did this all myself, but being honest God did this for me,
for there is no way I could have gotten sober and as of today still be
sober. For me there is no other explanation. Others may say that its
will power, but I know its not. No human could have taken the desire to
drink away from me.

So what happened? Well threw no fault of my own, as I write this I
am still sober,I was blessed, God put folks in my life who could help
me. This will not be all about God.However I will mention him from time
to time since without him I would not be sober.

At first I tried to fit in with the sober crowd, but then I
understood, that I was never one to just fit in, I have the strongest
desire to express my views and opinions. Now some of my views are
extreme, to the point that some folks may take offense, in my first
year of sobriety. I did not understand how folks could not think like
me, I still had and to be honest, still do have an ego. I like to
think it’s not nearly as big as it once was, but one never knows. As I
grew, I came to understand that not everyone has to agree with me,
would it be better for them if they did? I think so; however me and
thinking, just like me and drinking do not mix well.

When folks ask me about drinking, I do not try to act like it was cool,
or great, because to be honest I have very little memory of it. So if I
can not recall it, I guess it was not that great nor cool. Funny I can
recall like it was yesterday when both my kids were born, but could not
tell you what I did for a living 7 years ago. Alcohol is so great! Ok
so its not.

Back to the coming to part, I sat in a room and waited for this one
guy who I wanted to sponsor me, then he went outside and was on his
cell phone, which of course was rude in my mind, after all did he not
understand that I was waiting on him? It was winter and was cold. How
dare he not get off his phone? After all I was going to give him the
honor of being my sponsor. Well when he got off the phone, I walked up
and introduced myself.

I had meet him a few times, but thought to start off polite. First
thing he said to me was don’t you already have a sponsor? Well yes but
I wanted to give him the honor of being my sponsor. He replied with
here is my number call me after you tell your current sponsor that you
wish to change. He then told me his rules, He was not my banker,
marriage counselor, nor was he my attorney. If I could be honest with
myself and with him he would walk me through the 12 steps of A.A.
nothing more. Cool I already really liked this guy, he is going to stay
out of most of my life, good deal cause I can manage the other parts of
my life. Did I mention that I was divorced? Living in my car? Had my
second DWI arrest a 6 months before? However I liked him because he was
just going to get me threw the drinking. Now I had been to all of those
rehabs and I new all there was to know about the 12 steps. However I
did not want anyone getting into my personal life, just help me stay
off the booze. I chuckle as I write that because drinking was my life,
I had no other.

When I got out of the Rehab I was in, I went to a half way house,
that had rules. My Dad paid for my first 2 weeks there, after that he
told me I was on my own. Did I mention that my poor Dad had cancer, and
was slowly dieing? No? Of course not, I am selfish person,

Not that I did not care, but I was caring more about me then Him.
However his faith in me kept me going, when I figured that all was
lost, the little things he would do, that no one else would, helped
keep me sober, My father would take my phone calls, talk to me like I
was his son, I did not deserve that. The things I put my Father and
Mother threw would have drove normal folks away, and to be honest it
did drive my Mother away. Not that I blame Her, I mean how many times
can you get stabbed in the heart before saying enough is enough?

For the first 3 months life was ok, not great, but ok. Hell I was
sober, things seemed strange to me. While the family was getting ready
for Christmas, my one brother was in a comma and my Dad was slipping
from the cancer. On a Tuesday I went over to my parents place, my
Mother was not home, and my Dad was not feeling well. It was the last
time I had a real heart to heart with him, he knew that He was dieing,
and I felt he was trying to hold on till after Christmas, but he knew
he was not going to make it. He told Me how proud he was of me, for
being sober. To this day I don’t know if I am still sober, because I
don’t want to disappoint him or because I want to stay sober, I would
like to think it’s a bit of both.

That Friday, he was back in the hospital something that happens a
lot when you have lung cancer; the Doctors said he would be in for a
week or so. My Mother and 2 of my 3 sisters were there, My Mom was sick
as well she had been down in Florida with my one brother who was in a
comma. When we finally convinced my Mom to go home and gets some sleep,
my sister left as well, I told them I would stay the night in the
hospital with Dad. I went down to my car to get a book and some chewing
tobacco, went back up to the floor my Dad was on, and heard the code
blue, I knew then it was for my Dad.

My Mother was called of course and she was back at the hospital
before he passed, as were 2 of my sisters. Pop knew that he had to wait
for my Mother. She’s what he loved the most in life. After all that
time together, the last thing he wanted was to see her . That may
sound strange, but my Dad cared more about other folks then he did
about himself.

After he passed, we all were just stunned, after all the Doctor had
said he was going to be alright.In my mind, my first thought was to
run, find a store and get some booze, I then looked at my Mom, my 2
sisters, and I could not leave, this was my family, at the very least I
could wait a day. My oldest brother was in Florida visiting my other
brother who had just come out of his comma. I called him of course, to
ask him what to do. What did I know? I am after all a drunk, not
capable to handle my feelings let alone someone else’s. I can’t seem to
recall his exact words, but they were something like take care of the
family, I will be up as soon as I tell Mike. I think and so does my
Mother that my Dad planned having my oldest brother in Florida to tell
Mike.

I am going to fast forward, cause thinking of this makes me depressed.We as a family got threw it.

A while latter in my sobriety it was time to leave the half way
house, not that I wanted to, I was safe there. However one can not hide
from life forever. I moved into a sober house, and then was moved into
the ladies house who owned the sober house. I ended up living there for
2 years, very nice lady, and as with the rest of humans, she has here
issues.

Now I am not one who likes to chat, unless I am the one who starts
the conversation, and then I wish to be able to end it when I want or
when I am done talking. However since she had been so nice to me, I
felt obligated to listen to her. She was lonely, and before you think
that I slept with her, I thought of her as one of my sisters, nothing
more.

Did I mention that I am disabled? Well I am, so I tend to have a lot
of time on my hands, and anyone who knows a drunk, knows this is very
bad; however for some odd reason, this seems to help me rather then
hurt me. Now I have retreated from life to a degree, this time not
threw the booze, but threw on-line gaming, as well as doing other
things on-line.

This may not be what’s healthy for most folks, but it seems to work
for me. Now should I be out trying to meet more people? Of course
everyone needs someone; however I feel I have nothing to offer someone.

My days are not full; my nights get lonely sometimes however I have made some good friends on line as well as a few here

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